Thursday, December 15, 2011

Perils of ER Dating Predators

NQ Honest is a co-worker from a different department who I see often at work.  He is a friendly young man with more than a hint of exaggerated machismo. NQ took to winking at me every time he saw me. I would return a curt nod.  Although he seemed nice, I maintained my strong ideas against dating anyone from the workplace.  There are stories (not mine) out there that can curl your hair!

NQ seemed to be encouraged by my lukewarm acknowledgment, however, and escalated his advances so far as to ask for my number.  I declined every day for a week until he told me it was his birthday. I can safely say, I will never be guilted by the birthday excuse again.

Strike one: After a barrage of "y havnt u been txting me lol" messages, he exchanged numbers the same week with RN McSlutty in the back hallway.  Oops.... Sloppy game, man. Subsequent pretenses to be infatuated with me were that much more alarming in the next few days.

Strike two: I was introduced to his mom 3 days after the strike one incident.  But this isn't going where you think it is. Working in critical care early in the morning, he rolled in as my patient, tachycardic at 160.  I was shocked to see him so pale, but ever the gentleman, he first introduced me to his mother. Although he told me he was there because he had worked overnight and was overtired, his chart told me that he had tried Cialis for the first time and took too much.  That would explain his extreme difficulty urinating and need to be catheterized after he downed 8+ glasses of water.

Strike three: Asking me out for drinks because his mom was so taken with me. My polite decline caused him to loudly proclaim in front of my co-workers, "you should be nicer to me after all those drinks I bought for you."


Mr. Not Quite Honest has since been a strong reminder of the perils of dating in general.  It's a scary world out there, but apparently not as scary as taking a dip in the company cookie jar.


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