Monday, July 11, 2011
If you were a homeless drunk and it was unbearably hot/cold outside, what can you do to stay in the comfortable Emergency Room drunk tank indefinitely without getting kicked out/sober?
In the shuffle at the ambulance bay when you're being registered, discreetly stow a handle of vodka under your stretcher. Sleep through the tests and scans and become medically cleared for everything but drunkenness. This is how you get to the drunk tank.
Warning: don't get caught trying to access your liquor in order to spike your apple/cranberry juice that comes with your free turkey sandwich lunchbox. The technician will call security, have your alcohol removed, and have a good laugh with everybody at your expense.